Shameful Secret

Every Sunday, I read PostSecret.com. I get story ideas, character ideas--it just has a tendency to spark things for me. Today, it made me laugh. I do this! I do this every morning when I make eggs. I also have this silicone spoon that makes a great clapping sound against my ass. I pretend it's applause for my fabulous cooking. :)

Maximum Effort!

No, it's not a real book. I've just been struggling with the one I'm writing so I'm looking for distractions. In Long Haul, Jody finds a book in Ryker's truck called Rimjob Rob. I thought I would give it a cover. Clearly, I need therapy.

I don't often talk about my process because, frankly, who cares, but this is what it feels like to work on my current novel:

Yeah. That sums it up better than anything I could ever say. Or type, rather. Still, I will take solace from my spirit animal, Deadpool, and give it the very best I can. Sally forth!

On the nature of Cum/Come

Well, last week was a big one for me. Er, big in terms of what happened, not big in terms of a bacon orgasm. My offer on the condo was accepted! We close this Friday. I am all kinds of scared and excited. Now, to live there, I will have to make sacrifices--human sacrifices--so line up, people!

No, just kidding. But I do have to make some sacrifices with the internet. It's via satellite, which means it's hideously expensive and I can't stream much of anything. So Netflix has to go (whimper) but Trio suggested I get their DVD service, which I totally forgot all about. I think that's a great idea. It will be like getting little presents in the mail every week.

As to the title of this blog: Trio proofread Hell Frat for me and I was using cum/come interchangeably when I do know better. I heard from Selena Kitt that cum is the noun (Don't get cum in my eye, dude) and come is the verb (I'm going to come) so a fun sentence would be:

Oh, my God, I'm going to come a gallon of cum when I come over there with that bucket of bacon cum.

Yeah, that's pretty nasty so let's just hose everything down.

I also engaged in a very fascinating discussion about the many uses of corn cobs--they aren't just for dildos anymore. For more information on that, please check out Trio's review of Hell Frat.

Dirty, filthy, nasty

Now that I've got your attention, I thought I would clear something up about my writing. Yes, I did write that dirty, filthy, nasty tale. I also wrote the slow burn story with the sappy HEA ending. 

I used to have a much longer author bio that talked about how I write what I feel, not what's necessarily marketable. I explained a lot about each story on my webpage, but when All Romance Ebooks folded, they took a lot of money I was counting on. I had to give up my webpage, which sucked, but I'm sure the owner of ARe spent the money on important things like jewelry or her mortgage. 

Anyway, it's gone, but I'm still here, still writing, I've just had to change some things around. I think the only book that still has the original bio is Hell Frat, which also has the corn dildo. Yes. You read that right. A corn dildo. Hey, I thought it worked for the story. And no, you won't find this one on Amazon--they banned it as did iTunes. Probably because of the corn dildo or the extreme fear play or--well, there were a lot of reasons.

Still, I worry that readers go into books with certain expectations, so I think I need a rating system or something. Like a filthy rating from 1-5? If you have any suggestions, let me know. :)

Don't Panic!

Okay, a shout out to Hitchhiker's Guide but also a reminder to myself. I seriously just need to breathe. :)

The trailer deal fell through, which sucks, but there is a small condo on the market now. I'm looking at that this week.

I am writing but very slowly since the stress of this is really getting to me. I've banned sugar because all I want to do is eat that stuff by the buckets. Frankly, there isn't enough sugar in the world for me right now.

Thank you everyone for reading and posting reviews. I am grateful. Truly. When I get things settled with my living situation, I promise to get more involved in the M/M reading community.  I'm just running on fumes right now. But know that I think you guys are totally awesome. Epically awesome. Megally awesome! When I started doing this, I did it for fun but it's really become something much more. Being accepted by other people for doing what I love makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. :)

Also, Risky is coming up for read to review through the Goodreads M/M group. Here is the link to get an email notice:  https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/1014264-dbml-362-risky-by-bruce-rose

Okay, that's all for now. Back to running around like crazy and craving sugar. :)

A Late Weekend Update

Well, the MST3K reboot was fun. I loved all the new characters and the cameos were great. Hearing different voices for the bots took some getting used to, but I love sassy Tom even more now. :)

I'm late with this posting since I'm in the process of buying a trailer. Being a renter in Colorado (or anywhere) really sucks right now. Rent goes up and up and there's just no end in sight.

If you follow me on Pinterest, you'll see a fuckton of trailer stuff. It's a single wide and very small but it's attached to land (no lot rent--yay!) and I can do some of the work rehabbing it myself.

Hey, I'm not just another perv writer who practices the manly art of home economics. I also practice the feminine art of home restoration. ;)

Please send me good vibes for my offer to go through.

Also, a really big thank you to all the people posting reviews and ratings on Goodreads.

THANK YOU!

Get it? A really big thank you? Yeah. I think I'm funny. I'm not, but I like thinking that I am. :)

Weekend Update

What did I do this weekend? Shameful, shameful things. I toyed with the dark side. I don’t even know if I should share this. I mean they are watching. But I feel I must say something. I—I—I did my taxes! There. I said it. Whew. I feel better. Oh, I also masturbated excessively, but I do that every weekend. Frankly, after the taxes, I needed it. Probably shouldn’t have done it to furry porn, but after a day of incomprehensible IRS rules, I felt I needed fluffy to offset the slimy.

I also watched Girlfriend’s Day on Netflix. Clearly, I’ve got a Bob Odenkirk thing going on. I’m okay with that. He’s got a certain je ne sais quoi. I think I’ll dedicate a book to him. I really liked the noir/comedy mash up going on here and the absurdity of the premise. And, bonus, he’s a frustrated writer. I can relate.

Also watched I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore. When this went sideways, I about pissed myself. I wasn’t expecting that. So good. So creative. And, bonus, it has Elijah Wood. I need to dedicate a book to him too. Which reminds me, I need to create a Pinterest board of all the guys I’ve dedicated books to.

And finally, I fixed a bunch of clothing. Tell me I’m not the only one who has had a big box of “needs mending” stuff. Well, I tackled that box and I’ve never felt more accomplished. Buttons, tears, rips—I mended them all. And then I made myself some cookies.

Naked Came The Nude

Why in the world did you name your blog that?

Good question random voice in my head. I named my blog "Naked Came The Nude" because of MST3K #519 Outlaw of Gor. During the credits, Mike and the bots are riffing about the names of movies on the USA network and Mike tosses out "Naked Came The Nude." I've always thought it would make a great blog title.

But wait, there's more. As I researched the name to make sure no one else had it, I came across this lovely bit about a group of cheeky journalists who set out to

"...write a book that was both deliberately terrible and contained a lot of descriptions of sex, to illustrate the point that popular American literary culture had become mindlessly vulgar."

Which tickled me even more since I write erotica.

So that's the story behind the name of the blog. 😁